one million what nots

Moved!

2010-04-14T12:58:00.002+08:00

Jump on the Tumblr bandwagon!

The Lucky One

2010-04-13T19:28:00.005+08:00

"To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making, to find a comrade through whose steady presence becomes steadily the person one desires to be."

ANNA LOUISE STRONG

You've Got a Friend in Me

2010-04-12T23:00:00.007+08:00

There is the fight for holding on. And the fight for letting go. I guess the hardest thing is the learning which and when. But I still say it's worth it, that love is real, and love is possible. There are things still worth fighting for in this world, and love is at the top of the list.

To two of my dearest people, don't give up on each other. God will make a way.

Saving Grace

2010-04-12T00:42:00.007+08:00

Highlight of the day: Surprise visit

I am finally done with all my gazillions of deadlines, tests and presentations. HALLELUJAH. I can finally see the end of my second horror second semester, as all second sems are. And while i can't even begin to describe the extent of how badly i did in my previous encounter, I do hope that with some pocky, red bull and fairy dust, my CAP, after we're through with the next three weeks will not sink into the depths of another abyss. Unless of course, that abyss leads me to Johnny Depp's tea party and i can get to tell him how I'm afraid he's gone entirely bonkers.

This sem hasn't been easy, its like I've been on a perpetual downward cockscrew on the Battlestar Galactica, nauseating, and regretful in retrospect. But I guess what's important is that I've made it out alive and things are only looking better.

Next three weeks will not be without its own trials, but by faith we will be carried through. Will learn to find joy in all that i do!

Sweet dreams.

On My Way

2010-04-11T21:58:00.006+08:00

Sunday special order surprises. Nom nom eats it all up.

Boston

2010-04-08T20:09:00.006+08:00

Today i've left my mind behind and spent the afternoon doing absolutely nothing. Tracing occassional shapes on my ceiling with my finger, one eye closed, dreaming of warm hot chocolate and croissants on a chilly balcony, overlooking a Parisian street.

Dreaming of weekend pancakes smothered in butter and maple syrup.

Haven't had any really inspired posts of late because my mind is pretty much tangled up in deadlines and exams now. But still to all my faithful readers out there, hang tight everyone! The mothership will beam me back to earth come 4th may.

Meanwhile, thanks to all for all the loving i've been getting thus far. I know what a grouchypuss I can be, and yet, you never fail to catch my falling stars =)

My current on repeat mode song : Who Says by John Mayer

Bisous. Bien dormir ce soir ♥

A day in the life of me

2010-04-07T20:53:00.006+08:00

Who says I can’t be free?

From all of the things that I used to be

Re-write my history

Who says I can’t be free?

Postcards From Far Away

2010-04-07T12:30:00.001+08:00

HAPPY 23RD BIRTHDAY HSUZY! :)

* note the ultra cool candle :D (aren't i so creative ? :P)

A day with my loves

2010-04-06T22:50:00.005+08:00

If you were falling, then I would catch you.

You need a light, I'd find a match.

Cause I love the way you say good morning.

And you take me the way I am

We are the world

2010-04-05T14:15:00.004+08:00

Out studying at west coast plaza's Starbucks with shiru and yanwei! Major headache still ongoing. Thankfully there's starbucks latte to comfort me :D

Exams in 3 weeks. Ho ho ho.

Hey Soul Sister

2010-04-04T17:14:00.001+08:00

Amazing Love

2010-04-04T12:16:00.002+08:00

Thank you for the cross :)

Hot Issue

2010-03-30T13:09:00.005+08:00

That's MY photo there that I helped Shane take at Beach Fiesta on the STOMP! breaking news headlines!! Yay I'm happy at least one photo of mine was legitimate :)

You can check out the rest of Shane's photos here!

Stomp! - NUS hot bods soak in the sun at Beach Fiesta

Can i please say that i have NO FREAKING IDEA how to write my stupid SEA field report. Stupidest module ever.

Adios.

Baby Steps

2010-03-26T03:20:00.001+08:00

I need to find myself again :). Think I've lost myself somewhere going through all this stress. I've tried so hard that I've forgotten who I am, and forgotten to be me. To learn joy and to live in humility and faith, knowing that I've got your back and you've got mine, and that God is always holding us up... and holding our hands.

To the one who taught me joy, I promise I will learn to find it once again :). And Lord... teach us to love, for we love because You first loved us.

Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.

Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.

Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.

For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.

- Psalm 100

Rhiannon

2010-03-24T21:40:00.005+08:00

this is where i've been at..... the entire day.

Highlight of the day: Being told that I'm missed. I miss you too shiru! :)

Hysteria

2010-03-24T16:07:00.001+08:00

I am so tired. Will you carry me?

Lollipop

2010-03-24T11:44:00.005+08:00

My friends at universal studios with the madagascar penguins while I'm here buried in a hellhole of work. RAHHHHHHH. 5 more weeks!!!!!!

I'm eating way to much chocolate again. Stressed over whether to reject the Blast exco interview. I need another round of Harry's please!

Soco Amaretto Lime

2010-03-23T22:51:00.003+08:00

And he serenades me.... and tonight will go on forever, while we walk around this town like we own the streets.

Sweet dreams all :)

Ruby

2010-03-23T17:19:00.006+08:00

Getting uberly restless again while attempting to do 1 out of my 4 remaining essays in the library. It strikes me that the 4 essays i have yet to conquer are about subjects that i don't really care about, and that only means more pain for me and more whining on your ears for you.

Highlight of the day: Ade bought me and sab these uber cool rings! :) Love.

Wake Me Up

2010-03-22T16:52:00.002+08:00

Raving Rabbits chaos at forum.

Adeline Yeong: "Run run run!! no no turn Zhen turn no run run geddit geddit go! Don't corner yourself!!!!!!!"

Sugar Rush

2010-03-21T22:13:00.004+08:00

Pre-monday blues supper! :D

My Blog is Not Depressing

2010-03-21T21:09:00.006+08:00

Because I have yet again been told that my blog is damn depressing, I would like to clear up this misunderstanding that I am really not a pathological emo kid! And yes neither am I being mistreated by my lovely ya kun egg fan boy :)

I am merely just getting old and cranky under all the stress that NUS bestows upon me. And just like people write songs best when they are emo, I have the most things to blog about when i am emo too!

So don't get me misunderstand little me now. I'm actually as happy as can be! (minus anything to do with school)

So this post goes out to you my bestest buddy! YOU'RE AWESOMER THAN YOU KNOW! And i can't be more thankful :))

Time to start my papers now. 4 more to go for me. But i know we will make it through the rest of the sem! Hang tight now till Universal Studios!!!

XOXO

Always Be My Baby

2010-03-20T01:06:00.003+08:00

Told you i'ld get back to you when i had a good time. Awesome night out today with mich, ade, zhen, kai and dud! The duo band that played was awesome too. Sang all the nice, but emo, songs. And so we let ourselves indulge in our emo-ness over emo songs, beer and jagers. Think the people there must have thought we were all high. Nonetheless, no such thing as too many jagerbombs! Though there is such a thing as not enough money.

Don't you think Jagerbombs should rise up and take over the world like the decepticons?

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Oh don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

Thank you ade, kai and zhen! I feel loved. And yes zhen. I am a ragger :)

Time to sleep for tmr. I wish the night could never end. Hate to face tmr when reality comes crashing down on me. 4 more essays to go. Sighhhhhhh. Haven't i handed up enough already? Won't you spare me please?

Somehow my happy post turned emo again. ROAR.

I love ade!

Is that better now? :) Night all.

Stay

2010-03-15T20:38:00.003+08:00

Sad. It really saddens me alot and i hate that. But no use crying over spilled milk now. Just gotta suck it up and live with my regrets. Think it would have been different if it wasn't because. But whatever, ill be good to go in a flash.

You know people are full of empty words. All they do is say, and say, and say more.. and do absolutely nothing. Or worse, contradict their hypocritical self and do the exact opposite. And that's the thing that I hate the most. Don't tell me "just because". That has got to be the lamest reason ever. You won't get no respect if you ain't gonna give it.

I've been told my posts have been getting cranky and dreary of late. Well, I'll get back to you when something brightens me up. You are welcome to try. How about a "Make Rachel Joyful" competition?

Stay, darkness take over now.

Stay, no thinking twice.

Stay for tonight, the sound of your heart racing

Faster for me is what will save me.

♥♥ to 7 :)

Hold On

2010-03-09T00:42:00.004+08:00

And in the middle of the night i started to fear. What if it isn't enough. What if it'll never be enough. Too late, too much I do not know, too much time to make up for. All these days slip me by as they flicker past too quickly, exploding at her seems with endless amounts of things to be done.

Work. She smothers my chances of playing catch-up, though perhaps she knows what i do not. A futile chase that will send me careening back to that smoldering wreck. For i am the queen of hearts, and i have razed them all to the ground.

So what should bring you here soldier? Why do you have such faith? Do you not know the pain destruction that have emanated from these shores? Such faith like a child, next in line to be shattered. A pity.

Curious. The soldier holds on. His sword not drawn, eyes closed, sending up a prayer to the heavens. Such faith. Could he be here to heal this cursed land? Alas, a happy ending?

So i asked myself. Was it enough for me?

Yes it was. Like Daniel said, it's not about any of that. For it is God who brought us here. And though we may not understand his purpose or plan, we trust. Because He makes no mistakes.

This all began from being engrossed in an interesting blog. Couldn't pull my eyes away. I shall never attempt that again! Now please let me have some respite my over-imaginative brain.

Kisses.

Halo

2010-03-07T23:44:00.001+08:00

Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

Sweeter Than the Day Before

2010-03-06T23:45:00.003+08:00

It's been a tough past week. But ultimately God saw us through.

For me, i just want to say thank you to the people who noticed, and kindly offered the pats on the back, encouragements and words of wisdom.

As we were standing outside Mac's, Daniel came and spoke to me about some things that still burn brightly in my mind today. Little did he know that I really needed to hear that then.

And though we only started out as friends by relation, I am still deeply touched by your friendships, including the essay outline that you guys did with such passion for me the week before! So Alvyn and Daniel, thank you. It made all the difference in the world.

And to my bestest companion and friend, I can only say that you are amazing and I am so proud of you! You made it through my dear, you made it through. And you will only emerge from the fire even stronger than you were before :)

Night all. Lets let our dreams take us away tonight.

200 Days of Summer

2010-03-06T01:21:00.004+08:00

What does it mean to live on this earth? Would you be remembered tomorrow if you left this world today? And it got me wondering... that if tomorrow never comes, would I have done enough for the people I've left behind.

Will the people who I do not get along with know that it was all a misunderstanding. Will those who've cheered for me without fail know just how much I appreciate them. Will the people who mean the world to me know that they are loved, though I often fail to tell them so.

And most of all, will the people I love know that I love them more than they could ever know, and am so thankful for everything that they've done, and that I really hate ever having to leave their side.

Life on this earth is short and full of surprises. So take a moment to tell the people that you love just what you're thinking of, for you'll never know if tomorrow never comes.

So i say thank you for 200! And don't ever forget that you are dearly loved.

Because I Am Me

2010-03-01T20:11:00.004+08:00

Because i am a ragger.

My Plug In Baby

2010-02-18T08:14:00.004+08:00

The central library and me at 0807 in the morning. Feeling crappy and tired and aching all over from the 6hour dance marathon yesterday. Feeling more crappy looking at the day ahead that is filled with more dance and mugging that has no end.

EMCC Concert in 6 DAYS. 40% test and 20% presentation in 3!!!

Thankfully there is something to look forward to at the end of my everyday. God has seen us through and through and i am thankful for every blessing!

Toughen Up, Love

2010-02-10T13:29:00.002+08:00

After a while you learn
The subtle difference between
Holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't always mean security.

And you begin to learn
That kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes ahead
With the grace of a woman
Not the grief of a child

And you learn
To build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is
Too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way
Of falling down in mid flight

After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden
And decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers

And you learn
That you really can endure
That you are really strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn and you learn
With every good bye you learn.

Veronica A. Shoffstall (1971)

Float My Boat Will You?

2010-02-08T10:16:00.003+08:00

2 Mid Term Tests

2 Presentations

3 Essays

1 Response Paper

1 Field Report

Many Sci Gem assignments

Dance 3-4hrs on Tue, Wed & Thurs

Driving Lessons

Tons of CNY visitations

Parent's Anniversary Dinner

Wth did i get myself into.

Paranoia

2010-02-06T15:30:00.000+08:00

rachel dislikes this. she really really really dislikes this.

Muse Live In Singapore - The Uprising

2010-02-05T11:28:00.001+08:00

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Starlight

2010-02-03T14:13:00.002+08:00

Somewhere along the line, i fell into a terrible love-hate relationship with chocolate. Never liked it much even up till J1, UNTIL... the CJ drink stall obliterated their sale of fishballs and other salty things with the one, the only (literally since it was the only snack they sold for a long while).... HELLO PANDA.

So now, everyday, yes, everyday, i carry chocolates to school. Was currently finishing up my big pack of m&ms in the library when it occurred to me that, man, chocolates suck. And i just had to bemoan here how i shouldn't have eaten that whole pack by myself. Nonetheless its keeping my lunchless stomach somewhat occupied.

Feed meeeeeee! My stomach is making loud noises in the library :(

Muse concert tonight! ~ Hooooooold you in myyyy armmmmms

That I, I, I...

2010-01-31T23:18:00.003+08:00

Dance is my escape. Nothing else in this world feels like it. Once again, I find myself stopping myself from grooving unconsciously in public while rihanna or some other dawg plays in my head. It's good to be back! and I'm constantly looking forward to wednesdays now. :) Thank you dear.

Gangster, gang gangster luuuvvvvvvv.

I love this picture btw. Credits to KK!

Get well soon love! Sayang.

Unfold

2010-01-29T16:30:00.002+08:00

Shut up and dance.

Said I'm holding out your side
And I'm holding out this time
Cause I figure that I,

and I figure that I, just might make it...

Lean On Me

2010-01-26T23:55:00.003+08:00

My goal for this sem is to be more independent. I remember now why i wanted to be and was so in the beginning. Ah, my many days spent at coffee club and AS4 in the solitude of the early morning.

If we don't know, no one would be wiser. And if we don't see, who could tell us we're not beautiful? If we don't hope, then what is disappointment? And if we don't feel, then no one shall know pain.

To ride on a roller coaster, you can't pick your course. When you go up, you must come down. And you must come down to go up again.

Lean on me, when you're not strong.

And I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on.

For it won't be long

T'ill I'm gonna need somebody to lean on.

Love.

The wise and the winners

2010-01-21T21:08:00.007+08:00

I think its a really bad habit of mine to have to begin all my proper posts with oh look, i haven't posted in a while, again, and so i will cut the crap and move our butts along.

School is in full swing again and I'm trying to kick my well-honed one month long trained habit of lying on my bed, laptop on my, well, lap, something crunchy in my mouth and watching videos. Or feeling that life is boring without school. When you feel that the internet is boring you, you know that somewhere, somehow, your brain cells are degenerating.

So I'm trying my hand at a new habit, where I sit at my desk at home, and do my readings. Like WOAHHH. But it's been so far so good though the going is slow and the efficiency is still a few couple of notches less than when in my dear Central Library which i once held dear. But now that it's full of.... you-know-whos, I'd rather not.

Anyway, on my new habit, i will resume it tmr cause I'm currently aching all over from Blast auditions yesterday. My unfitness appalls me. Vibe from Blast est comme si comme ca. Damn I miss Ryan.

Was discussing with Shiru today about the prospect of us going on a summer programme together for exchange. Looking at all the photos of friends now studying overseas, Berkeley, Sheffield, Melbourne, King's, Monash, Cali... the sights, sounds, smells and freedom tempts me. But...

1) Unlike Shiru my boyfriend is not going to be overseas on exchange as well

2) Can't survive 10 days. Not gonna make it a whole summer.

3) It's gonna be SUMMER, i.e. hot like potato.

4) I need my weekly dose of chilli, shillin chicken and caitlin.

There, problem solved.

In a world of scholars, awardees and wannabes alike, climbing upon one another and tearing each other apart to make their way up the academic beanstalk, to open what i suppose would be some dead pirate's chest of A's and dean's list positions, I will lay some buckets at the bottom with my unintellectual crowd, catch what is bound to tonnes of sweat that comes pouring down like rain, and sell it to the Govt to refine into portable water. Heal the world, make it a better place. For you and for me and the entire human race~~

We are not stupid, we are wise in our own ways. Wisdom is but arbitrary. Who told one one was wise but just another man like oneself? I will be the girl with the new good habit this sem. I will knock you all dead by sawing the damn beanstalk down one day when i earned enough from selling my water to buy a chainsaw. Just you watch me.

We took this photo to remember my last day of freedom before Day 1 of Sem 2. So there you have it, GOODBYE FREEDOM.

2010-01-09T00:33:00.003+08:00

Hold me close, let your love surround me. Bring me near, draw me to your side. And as I wait, I'll rise up like the eagle. And I will soar with you, your spirit leads me on, by the power of your love.

125 Days of Summer

2009-12-17T23:53:00.006+08:00

"This is the closest I've ever been. Do you think we have a chance

tonight as streetlights sing on Audrey's song?"

- Anberlin

Thanks be to God for 125! :)

Rain

2009-11-20T13:11:00.001+08:00

You are beautiful beyond description

Too marvelous for words

Too wonderful for comprehension

Like nothing ever seen or heard

Who can grasp your infinite wisdom

Who can fathom the depth of your love

You are beautiful beyond description

Majesty enthroned above

And I stand, I stand in awe of you

I stand, I stand in awe of you

Holy God to whom all praise is due

I stand in awe of you.

GFKAMB

2009-11-12T09:46:00.001+08:00

Wakey wakey. I need to be less tired and sleepy.

EXAM COUNTDOWN: 12 days.

On a Jet Plane

2009-11-10T14:58:00.011+08:00

Separations. The highly probable prospect of having no access to the internet in a foreign land.

정말 싫다.

Someone give me something to look forward to after exams that will motivate me to study

Good Morning Sunshine

2009-11-05T09:35:00.003+08:00

Of thoughts and dreams that scatter
You pull them all together
And i cannn'tt explain

Well well you, you make my dreams come true
ooo oooh you you ooo oooh, ooo oooh
Well well well youuu, you make my dreams come true.
ooo oooh you you ooo oooh, ooo oooh

And today begins a good day :)

muacks

NO MORE SLACKING :(

2009-11-05T01:41:00.008+08:00

Situation Rachel's Field of Vision at 0140.

I noticed that such pictures always come up when exams are near. The very familiar picture of coffee, color pencils (a desperate attempt to convince myself that my notes are highly interesting), late night mugging, and late night blog posts, as an excuse to take a break from cramming at unearthly hours. Sorry if it gets boring guys. It only indicates how my life is ruled by a continuous cycle of exams.

I will begin part 2 of my studying for my developmental psych test next week after this, which is to wish my mommy

HAPPPPY 4*TH BIRTHDAYYY!!!!!!

and to tell you that shane was sleep talking at 130am and it was really funny, but... lest i get annihilated tmr, i shall stop at that. OH OH and this!

Sia la not bad sia. Quite artistic. Better than me. I don't think I'm even capable of drawing a fish, much less a whale, or a croc, or what the artist claims is a LION. ahahhaahahhaah. But quite pro la right guys? I got more. When i collect enough i will set up an exhibition and give all of you a special discount plus a free drink k? :D

OK. Enough of slacking. STUDY HARD EVERYBODY! And good luck to my overseas darlings for their papers!

Rach going back to her books.

This Learning Curve

2009-10-20T16:31:00.003+08:00

A time to learn, a time to falter. But as long as i learn and adapt, everything will be ok right? :)

Now someone please get me a mac book charger.

My coffee, my library and ME.

2009-10-19T10:46:00.002+08:00

We keep each other company, me and my cup of latte, as i peruse through notes about parenting styles alone in the library. A breath of fresh air to the lull of readings about play that have been my only companions for the past 2 weeks. The warm latte is consoling, coating my synapses with warm comfort and calm. I hope the sugarfied vanilla version i swapped with shane doesnt kill him from the sweetness. I just can't sacrifice when it comes to coffee, cant stomach sweet coffee.

Time has come for schedules to be made and notes to be written. Something in this coffee makes me feel like today will be a lovely day, even to use the word "lovely". Looks like its gonna be me and you everyday till finals are dead and gone my $2.20 latte.

Cheers.

Monologue Part II

2009-10-12T22:36:00.002+08:00

[10/12/09 10:27:46 PM] shane koh:

c&c: sup

oh...where did rachel go?

c&c: i don't know man, but i'm here to stare at you again

o...k......... this is somehow quite distrurbing

c&c: no shit

i got an idea (*brings stuff toy elmo to webcam)

c&c: who's that?

elmo: hi!!

c&c: wow you have big eyes...and you're quite red

elmo: this is the song la la la la elmo song

c&c: wth?!?!?!

I Hate Term Papers. I love Procrastinating

2009-10-11T13:49:00.004+08:00

Writing here as an excuse to take a break from writing my term paper. Term papers make me want to PB (puke blood). CTISTTM (cannot take it sial to the max). I hope everybody is doing alright, without me.........

Hils, i hope things are looking better and your hospital rounds interesting and fulfilling!

Ling, Hui & Ting!! I hope things are looking good in melb and you're all studying hard for your finals! I got news for you all when you come back hahaha. You guys should have a blog so that i know what's happening over there!!

Shu, my forever study partner regardless whether in SG or whether oceans and mountains seperate us. Together forever and never to part. Long live skype and ichat! Jia you!

Okay. Enough procrastinating from me. Time to return to my very evil developmental psych paper. I WILL FINISH IT BY TODAY.

Ok Rachel out.

Everyone-Is-Stressed-Out Time Has Come

2009-10-08T16:44:00.005+08:00

Sometimes the stresses and whirl of hustling and bustling in life gets us all worked up and we find that we soon forget who we are and what we once held dear. And all that becomes of us are worry and fear, worries about what to do next, when the next deadlines are, whether or not we will pull our caps further down the shithole this semester. While not to say that such notions are unimportant or wrong in any sense, we shouldn't let it blind us such that we forget in the whirl and let our emotions take us over. For is it not only those who would die for us that will dare to to come close enough, into our range of fire.

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? (Matt 6:25-27)

For as surely as macdonalds will refuse to sell me hotcakes now at 5:13 pm, God will make a way and the ones who care will still be there with their helmets on, pushing us forward every step of the weary way.

ONWARD MARCH! Milo peng okay? :)

Cookies & Cream and Marshmellow

2009-10-05T21:40:00.004+08:00

Shane was having a monologue with my stuffed tiger cookies and cream whilst i was afk. Their highly intellectual conversation documented here forever.

[10/5/09 9:14:15 PM] shane koh:

hi c&c, how's it going man

c&c: oh it's going good, and you?

i'm fine thanks, just doing my work now. you ever got any work to do?

c&c: nah, i just laze around all day

oh cool, we call that nua

c&c: right...anyway you got any food?

err...no sorry man, i kinda ate my dinner already

c&c: aww shucks...

rachel doesn't feed you?

c&c: no she doesn't :( you remember me as being bigger the last time right?

now that you mention it...yea......

c&c: c'est la vie

oh you took french!

c&c: oui, monsieur, et tu?

moi aussi!! tres bien!

c&c: enchante!

wow cool, i meet a french tiger.

c&c: i'm not french. i just learned it at the zoo i was in. i'm indian

oh wow, i'm half indian!

c&c: ^5 man

c&c: what are the chances...

yea...k man i gtg back to my work

c&c: alright...i'll...just....keep staring at you...actually, you mind if i get some shut eye?

yeah no worries

c&c: thanks!

For making me laugh when I'm sick... Thank You :)

Dolphin Laughter

2009-09-29T21:53:00.004+08:00

Quote of the Month: "I like this one cause it's small and cute like me."

Epic. And it was all said with a very very bright smile.

Cameras & Lenses

2009-09-10T00:28:00.005+08:00

Sometimes it's not the world that is going by too fast, but the people in it who are moving too quickly. Never pausing, never stopping to look at the little things that God has made to make each day so beautiful.

Nous allons vivre pour voir Paris ensemble. Je promets.

He came, and he went. And he made me proud.

Wednesday Survival Pack

2009-09-04T07:57:00.002+08:00

I will soon need a friday survival pack to last me through my 8hour straight fridays, shuttling between arts and science 4 times in the process. Bio Psych presentation later, cross your fingers for me will you?

It's time for Mac's breakfast. mam mam mam mam.

Thank You for the Music

2009-08-31T21:21:00.001+08:00

I wanna break every clock
The hands of time could never move again
We could stay in this moment
For the rest of our lives

Thank you for Baybeats! It was BWTTM CTIS :)

Raikkonen (FINALLY) won yesterday's Belgian Grand Prix! Hopefully marks a good rest of the season to come.

This girl is so very out of touch with this season's F1 and EPL. :(

Miss Kok is back! We had a good htht at baybeats. Have fun in australia girl!

Sometimes I don't understand why people must always say and do all these mean things. What's so gratifying about it?

I've been told that sometimes randomness is a good thing and not a sign of a schizophrenic mind.

Oh yes, i must meet up with my NJBC soon.

To my best friend. WE WILL BE NERDS AND OWN THIS SEM TGT K! WO TING NI :)

17 August 2009

2009-08-17T21:29:00.003+08:00

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times

It's you, it's you, you make me sing.

You're every word, you're every line

You're everything.

And i knew in that moment that it would be alright. That God will carry us through, that with love and strength for each new day, he will make a way.

And with big nose in one hand, cookies and cream in the other and a glaring lamp swinging merrily overhead, i opened my eyes as we said "Amen." And i felt the weight of it all lift from my shoulders.

Now with a thankful, happy and truly unburdened heart, i say thanks be to our Lord God Almighty for...

Our parents

Eunice

Michelle & Andrew

Oscar 1 & 3

Ben

Felle

Zicheng

Zhen & Ade

Raymond & Wanyee

Alvyn & Kelvin

Shu

Wes

& Xiao Di

These are our loved ones. There are no others like them. And they are ours. Without them, we are truly nothing.

All praise and honour to the Lord most high.

Goodnight everyone. Love.

Pictures & Postcards

2009-08-16T19:07:00.003+08:00

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Don't Let Go

2009-08-06T14:37:00.003+08:00

And as i look upon this mess we've made, the growing mounds of rubbish i gave up clearing up about a week back, the tons of tech we've done and redone and done and redone, the beautiful works we built ground up from nothing at all, the friends we've found and lost in the whole ruckus (not forgetting our love love with usp).

Tides have changed and things of yesterday are no longer the same as today's. What more will happen today that will change out tomorrows?

Macs, KFC, Pizza, Durians, Bubbletea, Old Chang Kee, Crystal Jade, Fong Seng, Engin and Deck.

MF and love love all the way.

By His Grace

2009-07-28T12:12:00.003+08:00

Every mountain we will climb
Every ray of hope we shine
Every blessing left behind
Is only by His grace

Every loving word we say
Every tear we wipe away
Every sorrow turned to praise
Is only by His grace.

Grace alone Which God supplies
Strength unknown He will provide
Christ in us, our cornerstone
We will go forth in grace alone.

What Are We Searching For?

2009-07-19T00:42:00.002+08:00

"We sit silently and watch the world around us. This has taken a lifetime to learn. It seems only the old are able to sit next to one another and not say anything and still feel content. The young, brash and impatient, must always break the silence. It is a waste, for silence is pure. Silence is holy. It draws people together because only those who are comfortable with each other can sit without speaking. This is the great paradox."

- Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

Pass the Bubbly

2009-06-16T13:47:00.010+08:00

Hello world. Its been a crazy month or so of break from school. Pretty downright crazy considering i only had 19 posts the whole of last year and yet this month alone i had enough content for more than 10. And what are we but only half way through June?

And like the day that passes from one to the next, so do some friends. An old day passes, a new day arrives. Sometimes they take their time to land at your doorstep. And like the dusk that takes its time to fade into morning dawn, you take your time to open them up, get to know them better. Other times however they fall straight into your lap from nowhere like a great big christmas present that has come too early. And you find yourself taken by surprise at how familiar they seem, and yet so new, and just how much you suddenly can't stand to be without them. And when you are, you can't think about anything else but when you're gonna see them again.

They always say that the best presents come in the smallest packages. I say that the best friends are found in the most unlikely of situations, for there is, afterall, really no better prize than one thats a surprise.

But as with all new beginnings, one can't help but wonder how long your shiny little bubble will last. Seasons come and seasons go. And if one thing's for certain on this stage, it'ld be that change will always come around, knock knock knocking on your dressing room door.

So don't pop the champagne just yet little ones. Brace yourselves and stay on the nice list. Hold on tight and don't let go. Sink your teeth in if you must. Santa may have been in a giving mood this year, but when his mind is cleared of leftover eggnog and whiskey from christmas past, he'll come to collect his tidings if he sees you on the naughty list.

Btw Santa, if you're reading, I want a bulldog for christmas this year.

Cheers. More bubbly anyone?

River

2009-06-15T19:13:00.002+08:00

To the river, I am going

Bringing sins I cannot bear

Come and cleanse me, come forgive me

Lord I need, to meet you there.

In these waters, healing mercy

Flows with freedom from despair

I am going, to that river

Lord I need, to meet you there

Precious Jesus, I am ready

To surrender every care

Take my hand now, lead me closer

Lord I need, to meet you there.

XOXO

2009-06-12T14:44:00.002+08:00

Just like the seasons, people have the ability to change. Sometimes it takes what's broken becoming whole again. Sometimes, it takes opening up to new people and letting them in. It doesnt happen very often, but when it does... it's almost always right.

Faith, Hope, Love

2009-06-11T23:22:00.001+08:00

Hold On

You fought your way up to the wall
But you havent gone past at all
While gazing with tear filled eyes
You just cant help but ask why
If trying hard is what it takes
Then why does it feel like a mistake?
The world has taken its side
You just wanna run away and hide

Its tough
Theres no one to turn to
I hear screaming inside you
Feels like hells all youve been through
Hells all youve been through

Hold on
Dont stop your breathing
I see your dreams and
I feel them too
Hold on
Dont lose your faith
I know you cant break
Im hoping and praying for you

All your peace seems far away
But you know there comes a day
When everythings so bright
All the darkness you feel subsides
And in the rising of the sun
You can finally say its done
The world will take your side
And your heart will start to shine

I will
Be holding on to you
There is nothing you cant do
I will try to be strong
Will try to be strong so

Hold on
Dont stop your breathing
I see your dreams and
I feel them too
Hold on
Dont lose your faith
I know you cant break
Im hoping and praying for you

Ill never let go of you
Ill never let go of you
Ill never let go of you, of you

Hold on
Dont stop your breathing
I see your dreams and
I feel them too
Hold on
Dont lose your faith
I know you cant break
Im hoping and waiting for you

XIAO to the LONG to the BAO!!!

2009-06-11T10:16:00.006+08:00

"I've looked for love, in stranger places,

But never found someone like you.

Someone whose smile, makes me feel I've been holding back

And now there's nothing I can't do."

A house OGL & AOGL dinner last night at holland v Crystal Jade! Steamboat and XIAO LONG BAO buffet!!!! Do you hear that do you hear that??........ AWESOMENESS.

My table which consisted of me, dudley, kris, samuel, ashton and jasmine had 23 longs of xlb ourselves. Not including the heaps of steamboat we also ordered, and probably gallons of barley we drank. I think the waitresses thought we were crazy. Either that or we haven't eaten for a week. To think they were worried at first that we'ld waste food when they saw our order slip, pestering us to read the "Save our Planet" notice.

Dud's ecstasy. Or should i say better than ecstasy.

My ah tiong and AOGL who cant figure out the chinese menu.

Steamboat steamboat. House i/c's tongue is friken long. She can almost lick her elbow. Serious.

Dud has eyes only for his curvy, smooth, juicy and well sculpted xiao long baos. I think he ate a good 10 long by himself. Thats 50 xlb dud. Monster.

My ever calm and sedate AOGL who looks like this even when everyone is rolling all over the floor laughing and disturbing Crystal Jade peace.

Kris our official prawn peeler.

The spicy soup base was a killer man. 4 out of 6 choking casualties. Jasmine kept drinking it whilst at the same time complaining that it was damn spicy and then scoops more and drinks more. No wonder the face become like that lol.

Though i was worried at first how the night might turn out since i don't really know the A house ppl, considering that i'm an 'anti-social' in school, it was really fun. hahah. The best has got to be the OG names

Ah Tiong

Ah Neh

Ah Bang

Ang Moh &

AHHthers (Others)

NICE RIGHT! ahahahhaahahahahahhaah

or maybe use all the OGL's names:

Ah Kiong

Ah Tiong

Ah Chiong

Ah Teck

& then Dud's OG Ah Kow.

Teck: "Hello freshie ah. Your house is called Ariel. Your OG is Ah Kow. and this.... Ah Teck."

LOL. wth man. We're retarded, shit.

Good luck freshies. Are you guys prepared?

One of my favourite MVs ever.

I'm walking on sunshine :) Are you? Mmmuack world!

Insomnia. Woah Oh.

2009-06-10T01:36:00.003+08:00

I can't sleep. This friken sucks. And I've been trying to figure out the name of this song playing now 0n my headphones for ages. Crap what is it. Where's he when i need him. Lousy fella CANNNNNNN.

"dis guy english damn powerful leh. BAHAHAHAHA"

LOL. You're such an idiot.

A Day With the Non-Judgemental Breakfast Club

2009-06-09T20:42:00.031+08:00

I realise that i've been an emo kid for far too long on this space. Banking too much comfort in the assumption that not many people actually do know this blog exists, i just shoot my mouth off. Haha. Nonetheless i shall try not to wear my heart on my sleeve too much like Ben says i do.

Met Ben & Felle today for lunch and tea at Food for Thought and later Illuma. One long HTHT session, which i noticed was mostly about me. Haha sorry guys for having to put up with my crap. And since i cant upload the photos on facebook, which are very nice by the way, due to certain... reasons, i shall do it here!

Food for Thought.

Awesome place, awesome food, even better company.

ILLUMA, Tea Dot

and the 4 storey escalator.

Thanks to Ben who has alot of makan lobangs!! yummy!

Its always nice to know you will always have that few friends who will never judge and always be there for you. Even though sometimes you forget them, or treat them like shit, or refuse to chat with them *coughs* on msn, or reply their *coughs* smses.

How many friends do we know will be with us till forever? How many friends will you stand up for till the end of time? Rach will work harder at being a better friend, especially those who matter most. Hils... Shu.. I miss you guys!! Kor Wes, Xiao Di and Mei... I'll always been here if you need me. You all know the hotline.

1800-SUPER-COOL-RACH.

Yea, how can i end without being at least a tad emo right? hahaha. Muacks to my loves. Sweet dreams dears.

Mak Maii

2009-06-08T01:27:00.004+08:00

Finding myself in the most unlikely situation, listening to a radio station, pondering over what it means to be a friend. That's what friends are for they say... what are friends for truly?

How many hurting souls are out there today? How many do we have the power to heal, to reach out and touch, and yet walk away so easily from. Who have u helped today? When was the last time you thanked those you are grateful for? The world would be a much happier place if we could all sit back for awhile, drop our work, unplug our ipods and listened to the people around us.

It makes me sad when i find someone hurting like that. All the more when it is hidden behind a front stronger than the fortifications i've built around myself, making it one truly spectacularly crazy ass facade. The more i find out, the more i feel the pain seeping through my screen.

But i know that the boy of ages past still believes that there is good. He really does. And so i will get him out, my little boy hiding under his covers... and show him that the world isn't that bad a place. Even if it means one tedious step at a time.

We can change this world one person at a time. For if each one of us tries, who can stop us?

I pray you have happy dreams my sad boy. For tommorrow will be a better day.

心跳

2009-06-06T23:19:00.003+08:00

Awesome awesome song introed to me by pierce and shu! im addicted to it!! and to wang lee hom's lousy chinese.

想跟我吵架我没那麽无聊
不懂得道歉我没那麽聪明
好想要回到我们的原点

你又在哭泣我给不了安慰
我又在摇头有那麽点後悔
爱情的发展已难以回头却无法往前走

但身不由己出现在胸口两颗心能塞几个问号
爱让我们流多少眼泪

你的眼神充满美丽带走我的心跳
你的温柔如此靠近带走我的心跳
逆转时光到一开始能不能给一秒
等着哪一天你也想起
那悬在记忆中的美好

我的太陽

2009-06-06T02:29:00.002+08:00

My cousin composed this song. Currently the no.1 on Music charts in China. I never thought i would say this but.. im proud of him. Jia you kor kor justin.

enjoy!

Secrets

2009-06-04T08:15:00.003+08:00

" The heart has many hidden treasures
In secret kept, in silence sealed
The thoughts, the hope, the dreams, the pleasures
Whose charms were broken if revealed."
- Jane Eyre

Pre Camp was a blast though 'A' house was small manpower wise. Muscles are aching at their full blown level now 24 hours after. new friends made. Thanks to my OG for an awesome time. we are so awesome. A for awesome. A - R - T - S * clap clap*

Here's the derivative gang that went to watch monsters vs aliens in 3D yesterday.

hahah. my advice is don't watch a full length movie in 3D. the novelty wears off real quickly and before you know it you take of the, albeit cool looking, 3D specs and are watching the movie as a series of blurry double images.

Kinda wish i knew what's the right thing to do. Maybe i should shut up and just leave it alone already. maybe i should.

on different pages...

2009-05-30T23:46:00.002+08:00

Mood: highly irritable. high level of cursing alert.

landed back in Perth in a very bad mood. with my irritability on a high i think i was abit harsh with some people. though i still think they deserve it.

watched 4 episodes of gossip girl on the plane. couldnt stop thinking too much about stupid things that cropped up so i took it out on eating alot of food. then i think about how i cant complain to shu about how i am thinking about stupid things and i get even more depressed. and then i think about how even the thought of going to melbourne to study with shu is laughable and that just makes me sadder. and now my adium is not connecting. and then i can't curse here cause i know ill get a shelling from some ppl who read my blog.

GREAT. my adium FINALLY connected. oh nice. it just disconnected again. this is a perfect moment for cursing

Long Time Coming

2009-05-29T20:13:00.006+08:00

letters from Melbourne.

~ for the first time...

3D2N spent at shu's place at the Rusden. i autographed my name at some small discrete corner of the room to mark forever that i was the first to visit (*very evil laughter*)... at least i think i was the first. hmm... Nobody knew what we would do once the fateful day of reunion bore down upon us, no plans, no car and nowhere to go, but one word trumped the day... ' Spontaneous.'

Visiting Monash was interesting. I think i actually mastered acting like a Monash student in that few hours i was there. Put faces to the many names ive heard before. Fimy, Kai and Min, thanks for being so friendly hahahaha. The legendary Maccas at 3am, Pancake parlour and Sofia's. It was just one massive eating spree to the next in a never ending cycle... but rachel and shu ALWAYS win. When it comes to eating, we're a killer combi man.

The most memorable 2 nights in a row pool and ping pong matches. Black and white games that we take forever to get thru. Maybe it was more like squabbling and jostling for power. Car rides with drivers who thought they were straight out of a Fast and Furious movie, credit though to their driving skills and for delivering us safely from place to place everytime. We must have all lost our minds for 2 nights. What were we thinking man! Lol, but a heartfelt thank you for taking us out every night guys :)

Then of course there's my dear shu. Although it was short, and i wished i stayed longer, i had a helluva time girl. I havent had such let urself go crazy spontaneous fun in a long time and our HTHT sessions in the dead of the night. So when it starts to feel lonely, know that distance doesnt even come close to mattering yea. Even if i had to fly here to smack touchy you-know-whos with a beer bottle i will. Be brave girlie and i hope you'll find all you want soon. Here's a song to you... :)

My Wish, Rascal Flatts

" I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow,

And each road leads you where you want to go,

And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,

I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.

And if one door opens to another door closed,

I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window.

I hope you never look back, but you never forget,

All the ones who love you, in the place you left,

I hope you always forgive, and you never regreat,

And you help somebody every chance you get,

Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,

And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,

Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,

You never need to carry more than you can hold.

And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,

I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,

Yeah this is my wish."

I hate to leave Melbourne. I really do... Gonna cry right now.

Isz says we gotta suck it up and live life....

Solee Solee Soleee

2009-03-18T21:19:00.006+08:00

Do not worry my dear. As time goes by, the memory remains... but the pain dissipates.

On a brighter note, I've never talked much about it before but i shall today. Let rachel give your first introduction to the almighty global sweeping KPop. The 3 hottest songs in Korea right now. In the sense that they are the most requested and their dances most parodied everywhere lol.

1) Nobody by Wondergirls

A pretty old song from end of last year but nonetheless the most highly parodied and copied and seen on every show there is in korean from movies to drams to variety shows. haha. Its soon to be taken over by the next song by So Nyeo Shi Dae (SNSD) below though.

First 2 minutes is just some extra storyline. And Yoobin at the end who raps is damn cool. Love her rapping. ~nobody nobody but CHUUEWWW

2) Gee by SNSD

This song broke, and is still breaking, the Kpop Weekly Music Charts record. So far it been #1 for 9 weeks in a row. We'll see if this week they'll hit 10 times or be taken over (and honestly finally be given a break from performing on Music Bank every week) by their brother group Super Junior this friday. SNSD was promoting them at the start of the performance.

And the dance is also equally as parodied and danced everywhere its crazy.

Despite the way overload of acting cute, i hate to say it, but somehow this song is addictive.

3) Sorry Sorry by Super Junior

The just released new song by Suju from their new album. Its not yet as crazy, as the other two, since its only just been released, but it will be, as all songs of Idol Groups with crazy armies of fan girls have been.

A JT Sexyback slash Britney Womanizer style kinda song.

I just LOVE their pronunciation! SOLEEE SOLEE SOLEEE mwahahahahahahah LOVE IT LA.

and yes they're really that huge. 13 members. don't ask me how much they've left after they split the money.

Haha i don't know why but of late kpop composers seem to have a fettish for repetitive lyrics. First nobody nobody nobody... then Gee gee gee... then now sorry sorry sorry... gwabwahahaha kill me please.

Anyway. that was your intro to Kpop. This was the idol groups genre (also the most popular and money making genre). Somehow, i closet-ly like them hahah. May sound crappy to you at first but HAH. Tmr, you're so gonna hear it playing in your head.

If there's ever a next time i post on Kpop.. or not. hahaha. VJ rachel OUTT!

Cheerfulness

2009-03-03T21:59:00.004+08:00

I am a lousy procrastinator.

And i need to get started on my Cognition term paper... in all seriousness.

I want to sleep 14 hours a day like hilary and still get SUPERCALIFRAGELISTIC RESTULTS!

ChhcheckkechekkkechekkechekkittOWWTTTTTTTTT!

Season starts in 23d 11 h 17m & 45s

Anyway, i discovered a super happifying song last night. Its been on replay the whole day on my itunes so I'm in a pretty good mood. See... this is the time to get things from me if you wanted any. Its so happifying, its distracting man. I can just sit there and listen to the song 20 times over and not do anything by appreciate its happifying-ness. Laleelaleela.

Basically, Im just blogging so that i don't have to start writing my paper. SWEET.

BANG BANG!

2009-02-27T01:55:00.006+08:00

2 am in the morning. 2 am and the rain is falling.... here we are.. You know that song? Not that the rain is falling though. Only the 2 am part is truly relevant.

Taking a break before i finish off the LAST unread required chapter of Jap Hist. As much as i love history, writing the bloody essays kinda pisses me off. Pardon the uncouthness. It is after all an ungodly hour to be studying, considering too that i didn't manage to get my hands on any coffee or coffee like substance, and my bed is just a shift of a butt away from me. And what the S#@$ is the difference between modernity and modernization. 뭐야 정말!

Which reminds me, my Hangul is getting better. I realised i can watch entire dramas without subs. Whilst watching KBS today, i actually knew what was going on in the show despite being completely absorbed, visually, in my yummylicious grilled fish & garlic bread lunch (which btw was seriously damn yummy). SO, tell me now. WHY THE H@*# did i not just take Korean. Now here i am suffering for my moment of freshman insanity in French 2.

OKAY. Enough complaining. I apologize for turning into a complain queen of late.

such a nice candid shot.

I miss hilary

I miss Shu

I miss the Sims

I miss Yang & Jo

I miss my brothers

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY LING LING!

I'm sorry alex. I've got to say you've been completely thrashed by the competition.

Sometimes I wonder if it may actually be a possible. I should bring my wishing star for re-servicing. Or maybe i should service my guts. Where did the determination for world domination go yo!

Btw, I hate stalkers. Stalker-like, stalker-ish. Even semi. ALL. Je deteste ça!

HAH. don't you love random comments.

And now... Don't you hate the sound of books calling. racccheellll..... RACCCHEEEELLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!

Somebody should shoot books in the head.

When I Grow Up

2009-02-25T00:02:00.004+08:00

This is what happens when you make attempts to study at home. You struggle every 30 secs to avert your eyes from the Safari icon on your dock, you try to block out the drama mama monologue emanating from the plasma, and in the end, you eat strawberries and start taking photos on photo booth as though you're some CF (that's short for commercial film btw) star.

I hate to whine but I SERIOUSLY HATE UNI WORK.

All i can do is try not to use youtube and not to fall asleep. Other than that, i can't assure you that any reading i do even manages to permeate my hippocampus. Youtube is horrible i tell you.

WISH ME LUCK WITH MY TERM PAPERS.

Gotta go read some Jap history before i sleep. 잘자요

Question of the Month: When i grow up i wanna be a _______.

Prizes to be announced. :)

Hungry girl makes an angry girl

2009-01-21T07:51:00.006+08:00

The time now is 7:51am and i find myself sitting outside an LT door on a wednesday morning. Mind you its merely the second week of school. I don't know why i'm even sitting next to the bloody door when people reporting in for their 8am lecture (madness, why would they even want an 8am lecture) repeatedly take their turn at opening and closing the doors, bestowing me with drafts of cold air every 10 secs. Why can't they just arrive at the same time.

I'm usually rather amiable in the mornings. Just that i need my breakfast first AND I DON'T HAVE MY BREAKFAST TODAY, as of yet. Coffee Club should just hurry up and open already. PLUS, i just can't seem to get over the results of my shitty tutorial allocation. I can't believe i have a 5 day week. CRAPS, you see how impt breakfast is kids, i become a whinning complaining goddess without it.

Anyway on the brighter side of life. Being back to school again is somewhat fun. At least i feel like i'm making some contribution to society as i study to become the next big thing of Singapore. ahh... okay not really, but still I'm a part of the future of the nation right? Of course. But of course with school comes hell again twice over, swimming in readings that never end and barrels of coffee that burn up me maaarrnieee. I wonder why watching videos never have the same sleep-inducing effect academic papers have on me. Its a mystery.

Alrighte, its getting really chilly outside this door, i shall go seek some solace in a more unconspicuous corner.

I'll leave you with my new candy boy. Mwaha looking at him makes me less cold already. HAHA. I know i'm crazy, shutup. So what if i like koreans, not cool enough for you?

Blessings

2009-01-18T23:39:00.009+08:00

Meet the people that mean everything to me! The people that i would literally jump in front of a bullet for. Run into a burning building, stand in front of a speeding car, laser beam an evil scientist, dive 1000 leagues under the sea, become vegetarian, never eat bread ever again for!

THANK YOU FOR 2008 guys! I hope you know i love you all very very much :)

SG Wannabe

2009-01-04T00:45:00.001+08:00

Staring Dong Wan. Still one of my fav music vids or rather music drama though its rather old!

Bittersweet Dawn

2009-01-02T23:15:00.004+08:00

Staring at the flawless whitewashed ceiling blemished only by a lone fan. At the break of a new dawn and a new year, my mind inadvertently drifts to the year past and how it's been and how I have changed.

Thinking back life could have been better, still I couldn't be more thankful to God for all the blessings he's given me. Good results, entrance to a good school, a new niece, the opportunity to perform in Oschool's recital, new found friends and most importantly keeping me and my family safe for yet another year.

And though 2008 was good, in 2009 it is my hope that i will find my meaning in this life, God's purpose for me here on earth. For I've soon found that life is hardly worth the living without it. What am i here for? There has got to be more than just the mundane routines i pace through from dusk till dawn. More to the life I've led for myself . More to the many faces and roles i have to play to seek some solace for my sanity. More to the human heart than those many i've encountered.

As 2009 rushes onward, the near future sees the approaching of yet another loved one i must set free. And though i am happy that you've grown and can now do this on your own, it's still sad to let go the hand that i've been for so long leading through wind and storm. Nonetheless i could not be more proud of you my dear nor could i be more happy. Forgive me for feeling bittersweet. :) Keeping you in my heart always. You know the hotline :)

I send my love out to,

Hils

Shu

Felle

Jesmine

Kate

Israel

Jordan

Oschool & Ryan

Keith

Bev

Kor Wes

Xiaodi

and of course my dear sister and parents

Thank you all! For I would not be standing at the end of 2008 and the dawn of 2009 if it was not for you guys. You have truly been great blessings to me. God Bless in the coming year and may our friendships never waver for many years to come.

Happy New Year everybody. May your swords stay sharp! :)

Da O Show! 2008

2008-12-10T21:45:00.010+08:00

Oschool Recital'08 has finally come to and end after months of practice and rehearsals. Can't decide whether to feel happy or sad. Either way i couldn't be more thankful for the opportunity and experience that OSchool has given me! Have learnt so much from the instructors and the dancers around me and there's still so much more to learn! Also thankful for the many new friends made and all the dancers that have supported me and watched out for me during this stressful time juggling dance and school! Will miss you all badly!

It's gonna be a photo filled post!

My LA/Lyrical Loves

Hosea! my fellow non TP DE-ian! your head spin is so sick!

and anabelle! Thank you for helping me do my make up! You're so nice!

Iris and Andreas (who i didnt get a chance to take a pic with)! Will never forget our addidas bazaar madness! we the most early and most kiasu lol. Can still here Andreas voice saying "we are damn jia lat man" everytime he look at the stacks of our shoes, even though each time he still brings back yet another box!

MEIQI!!!!! Thank you for always being so caring! Don't eat so much chocolate! :)

Tim! the first TP DE-ian to talk to me when i first came alone to the T P dominated Lyrical rehearsal. Keep on working hard and you'll achieve your dream of being a great dancer someday!

Liza! my fellow non tp de-ian. You're so hot and always so nice to me!

Kelvinnn! One of the few TP DE-ians that will always talk to me and accompany me! thanks babe really!

Andy! Will never forget your expressions during house and lyrical! Forever smiling. Keep it that way! :)

Ah Lee! Thank you too for being one of the TP DE-ians that always watches out for me!

NICOLE! the very nice but very crazy girl that always winks at me! Thanks for always being there to help and offer advice dear! stay crazy!!!!! lol

JEANNNN! Your popping is DOPE. You're also one of the TP DE-ians that always treats me like im one you all. Thanks for the love! appreciate it :)

Royston! another crazy fella that always speak in chinese to me. lol. will always rmbr our crazy addidas shopping spree tgt! we're nuts right, we really damn jia lat.

My Other Loves!

Yo dope bboy aka Nelson! If only you didn't quit la/lyrical! :) Teach me to be a bgirl someday!

Bud! Another nice TP DE-ian! Reggae so dope yo!

You're always so hot and sexy when you dance joyce! Can't take my eyes of you!! you forgot my name but i rmbr yours! hahaha. I also don't know how i came to know you but you're very very nice too dear! THANKS FOR GLITTERING ME UP! :P

Ronald! pop pop pop. i drank you mos burger ice tea. i also actually wanted your corn soup but oh well mwaha next year do reggae i dare u!

ELKEEEEEE!!!!! so hot and so dope and so sweet. Have fun in Miami dear! Dont get a tattoo la. Your miami ink theory is invalid!

How can i forget my dearests Bev and Mel! We did CJ Dance proud loves! But no more reggae next year ok! i surrender :P

Big big thank you to Ryan and Gin for all that you've taught me. Really made me grow as a dancer and as a person as well. Thank you for the experience! You guys are DOPE! hope you liked the video! lol :)

And last but not least my dear Keith! Really my greatest source of encouragement and support during this recital! You know I'm thankful right even though we always fight lol. Keep on dancing and smile more! not just during popping!

Thank you also to everyone who came down all the way to SP just to watch us on a public holiday!

BAAA i really miss the dancers. More photos after the jump! Night everyone and keep dancing till we can move no more!!

Dididididididididi

2008-11-30T21:59:00.005+08:00

Let me take a break from my futile attempts to study. Perhaps some verbal vomiting would do me some good and stop my mind from jumping about. I think too much dancing has made me fidgety. Sitting still and pouring though the labyrinth of way too philosophical theories seem now to be too monotonous a task for my body to adapt to.

Full dress rehearsal today was 3 words. ____ ____ ____. Kept forgetting Ryan's new steps which was frustrating and then i had no costumes. I must thank all the wonderful people who lent me and helped me with costumes, Bev, Mel, Hosea, Jean, Ah Lee, Chun. I know ive been pretty whiney about it and for that I'm sincerely apologetic. BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU ALL.

All in all recital rehearsals have been a great learning experience. Especially for LA/Lyrical where new friends have been made from the sheer amount of time we spend together, and of course all the sweat and smells we share. Want to thank Keith especially for always being there. You have no idea how scary it is to be alone in an item with no friends and 22 others who are all from the same dance group. Its thanks to you that i don't feel so alone. :) Love!

There's my favorite above with a big smile after forgetting his steps. ahahahaaa so cute

Ryan was just telling me that day that didn't it feel super different dancing with T P DE. I have gotta say it is indeed. Really envy and admire them, their teamwork and family spirit. You guys are so lucky to have what you have. :)

And as recital draws near, so does the end of recital rehearsals. Makes me sad just thinking how i'll prob never have the chance to dance with them again.

My books beckon. Rah how come i feel even less motivated to study.

Can I Have This Dance?

2008-11-02T01:40:00.004+08:00

Love the choreography. So nice, jonathan we so suck. Too bad i cant find one that shows the full dance online

"It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance (can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance?"

Flowerpot

2008-10-28T23:41:00.002+08:00

Secrets and Lies

2008-10-15T09:58:00.003+08:00

My life is such a movie plot. Should i be glad that it's so full exciting colours and an unexpected twist to the ending to boot.

See la. Emo again. Will you all fly back and just be with me for a while if anything happens? Just a while...

MID TERMS SUCK

2008-10-11T02:06:00.004+08:00

Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing.

Thanks for all the joy they're bringing.

Who can live without it? I ask in all honesty.

What would life be?

Without a song or a dance what are we?

So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me.

Go watch Mamma Mia!! Damn nice! Either that or I've been deprived for too long. Will update when I'm less tired. Bonne nuit!

Only bread beats alcohol

2008-10-06T23:55:00.005+08:00

DYING FROM STRESS. Which i often find has a detrimental effect to the amount of food i put into my mouth. I.e. it increases at an exponential rate. And if you people reading are those who actually know how much i eat just on an average day, now that is no joke to hear man.

Just posting to take a five minute break from the crazy europeans incessantly going up in revolutions and killing each other like chickens. Not gonna post for a while till my midterm shits are over. AFTER WHICH i will go destress completely for one day before i have to dive right back into this academic mayhem. Israel owes me after exam martinis! YAY. Damn yummy la martinis.

I want to eat prata. Who got car can bring me some supper. Im not greedy i just want my one egg one kosong :(

Omgssss baguettes. Baguettes also cannnn.

Believe me when i say i can eat just about every baguette there if i could. You know what TRULY is the best superpower to have? SUPER METABOLISM RATE. Alright high five.

Why do you always makes me feel so sad. sigh bad girl.

Crazy europeans beckon. Pray that i stay sane through this week till mon! Love you all.

Good Morning Sunshine!

2008-09-30T08:36:00.004+08:00

When life gets depressing, it's the people you love and who love you that keep you going. Chug chug chugging up my mountain of work like thomas the engine, I think i can i think i can. Choo choo.....

Singapore Grand Prix was seriously a damn drama mama race. Piquet crashing, the always annoying safety car procedures. Then of course poor Massa who lost his significant lead over Hamilton thanks to the semi automatic refulling system. Then my dear Kimi crashing out with only a few laps to go. Ferrari almost made me die from hyperventilation seriously.

But of course the underdogs of the day Alonso and Rosberg. Both drove good races the whole way. It has always been the case of who makes the least mistakes wins hasn't it? I would say that all the three who made it to Parc Fermé deserved their positions. Even Hamilton whom i normally hate. Mclaren ran a clean and tight race.

Haha this is such an apt photo of Alonso. From 15th on grid to 1st at the chequered flag! Damn cute la he was doing that hitting chest I'M DA MAN thing.

Singapore GP was really one of the best GP I've seen since 1995. Thank you Singapore, it was spectacular, made me proud to be a Singaporean.

Rest of the week is gonna be hell, i can just see it, Armageddon crashing down upon me. Sucky project mates are probably the thing i hate most now. Rahhh. It's gonna be a long long week.

My dear boy is coming back soon. Starbucks opening shift tmr. Who's coming to visit me?

CRISIS

2008-09-26T16:17:00.003+08:00

Crisis crisis.... Seriously crisis.

Tyler's favourite word. Haha I miss tyler.

He was always one to easily win me over. Crisis.

First

2008-09-24T21:19:00.005+08:00

I think the sky is such a beautiful place. It never ceases to make me sigh in gratitude and say my God is amazing.

I want to be the sky. So that i can look down upon the world and always watch over all the people i love. Fly there when they need me. Never out of my sight.

Like a river. Always rolling onwards. Gentle. Yet bringing with it as it goes, everything in its path. Always changing. Never stopping. Never to return.

You should've seen that sunrise

2008-09-22T22:30:00.009+08:00

And i watched the sunrise, in NUS, on the first day of semester break, when i should really be lying on a beach somewhere chilling to Mraz and some martinis ( i know, i really like martinis :D ) Watching the twilight trickle into day, reminiscing about the sunrise we missed the last time. I find myself instead sipping some pretty crappy 50cent vending machine coffee with only my sweater to keep me company. And alex of course.

I should burn all my sweaters, they know more than they should. Anyone want to buy me a new one?

Currently using the fact that i spent the entire morning till evening studying as an excuse not to do so at night. Preferring instead to succumb to the greater evils that lure me into watching mindless shows and playing mindless games. Yes like pet society.

Say hello to the bad BAD people who write on school property and tempt me into watching a movie instead of studying.

I flipped through pictures taken at CJ last year at an attempt to clear up the jumble of chaos that is my hard drive. Couldn't help the pang of loneliness from washing over me. Suddenly i itch for some emo josh groban songs.

I really miss you Shu. Don't you wish its endless noodle king queues, futile attempts to pry ourselves away from csi and parading around in underwear all over again. Not forgetting the people who swam in white t shirts for you.

Hilary and Shu. Don't leave me here please? :'(

On a lighter note, i suddenly have this obsession for waffles and digestive biscuits. It feels like christmas when i see them. I can eat a whole roll of digestives in one day. Check out yesterday's crazy good max brener's waffle. Chocolate to your thighs!!!!! Well mine.

I must be going insane from all this stress. (I know people like israel and xiao di are giving me that ' You're gonna be so freaking fat at 30' look. I cross my heart i will spend tmr eating nothing but lettuce in sincere repentance. HONEST!)

We should've have seen that sunrise. You'll be with me the next time.

Take care everyone. Rmbr rach loves you.

I HEART HILARY

2008-09-20T08:49:00.007+08:00

We are all such nerds. You know its serious when even chung siang is doing it lol.

Mid term break is here and i finally get a chance to catch up with my what has now accumulated into a mountain load of readings. Have one week to finish that, plus write my Psych mid term paper, plus prepare for Psych mid term test, plus finish my geog projects with a capital S, and cultural studies project. HOORAY!

On a side note, can i just say i really hate projects.

My dear hilary is gonna be gone in an hour, back to the UK. Why do both my best friends leave me here alone. This must be why they say love hurts. Its tragic i tell you.

I realised Ive never posted about hilary. Its not true i love you any less qing ai de! You're just about the only person who is willing to listen to all my whining. Rants about F1, bitches and useless guys. Sorry you had to spend your last day here listening to my nonsense again lol. And we totally should not have done it in front of israel. GREAT.

I am tired. Really am. I wish i could just head to some secluded island and just do nothing but stare at the pounding waves for just one day. Drink some peach martinis under the stars. I just wonder why we play these silly games. Im tired now. You had your second chances yea. Now just stay away from me.

Im not emo, please, everybody dont blast me with worried messages. Im how zai. CHILL YOZ. Everyone please remain calm. Please stay seated with your safety belts on. Oxygen masks are above your head, lifejackets underneath your seat.

Time to find my friend Napoleon.

Pink boxers and Popcorn

2008-09-08T07:43:00.005+08:00

This is what we call a wanna-be-chao-mugger's view at 730 in the morning, with ah peh kopi 'o' included as well. A pretty exciting picture already i would think, my default acting geek vision scope is usually a much more drab view of the old and clinical-ish school library. Why can't we have library with the grandeur of those portrayed in movies with high ceilings and roman colums and dark oak tables, a fire place or two. Maybe even an enchanted sky like Hogwarts. That would be so cool. But no. Our library must look like, well, crap. Maybe when i get in there later ill take another pic for you to see, but you see... library not open yet. GOSH, i have no life.

School is pretty much not bad i guess. Just that studying is damn tiring, my concentration no more stamina man. How i wish Shu was here with me then we can mug together. Or maybe more likely we would distract each other watching lame videos and gossiping. Then Shu would whine for starbucks and i would whine for food or the lack thereof. Hope you're enjoying yourself Shu. You'd better be considering you pangseh me here for there.

Here's my newest niece trying to be a one eyed pirate.

Yet again another pretty good picture since the other 50 odd pictures show her frowning. Maybe someone stole her yo ho ho and a bottle of rum, or milk.

It never ceases to amaze me how we often take for granted how easily life ends as it easily begun. Perhaps we only notice it for the moments when we lose someone and then easily yet again cease to hold on to it. We live day to day as though we know for sure that we'll live to see forever. But as we all know we don't and anytime we can just go like *POOF* *snaps fingers* *BANG*, and TADAA! You never get to eat another newton bbq stingray again, or breadtalk pork floss bun.

So my point is, everybody should be nicer to me. Buy me more breadtalk and mooncakes. What if i die tmr. You'll live the rest of your life with regret for stopping me from eating that extra waffle at lunch la. Or that whole box of popcorn i wanted to finish.

People owe me lunch dates too yo. My school so near clementi and town now dont want to jio me out. I go Switzerland then want to jio me go lunch is it. Fools

Anyway Lets end of with a minute of silence in respect for kongkong. I'm glad you're in a better place Kong kong where illness and pain will no longer touch you! I'll never forget the times we made you laugh till we all cried and the way you always called me with that booming voice. Ill keep my promise to you too kong kong! Its still our little secret shhh =)

And then lets after that have another minute of silence for tyrons incredible pink boxers. Its really INCREDIBLE ty. What a first impression. Lol.

Library is calling me. Bonjour!

And as easily as i think about not taking life for granted. I will once again forget it in a flash, choosing to spend my entire day in pursuit of something that will only take value many years on.

And the wheels on the bus go round and round.

More Than Anything

2008-07-24T23:16:00.003+08:00

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

I hope you never look back, but you never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

What I Would Give

2008-07-02T15:12:00.007+08:00

And so I'm back, again. I couldn't think of a better way to portray, YET AGAIN, that yes I've been MIA and am now finally updating. As such lets save you and me the trouble and just stick with the classic, 'And so I'm back'.

I know it's been two months since the last post but hold your spears, I swear it's not my fault. Minds been collecting way too much dust and BESIDES, I've truly bluely been extremely busy.

I would begin to go on and list down what life has been like but honestly I'm not that exciting. Life's just been revolving around dance, as always, and Arts camp.

Arts Camp was a blast. I would think of a better vocabulary to describe it more precisely but my mind is refusing to cooperate so pardon me.

All i can say is that it amazes me how bonds can be forged so easily over sweat, tears, lousy food and meaningless cheers. It wasn't that long ago that we were but strangers who wouldn't have given each other a second glance on the streets and yet here we are, behaving as though we've known each other for years, acting like retards without shame haha.

But I must say that i love each and everyone of you my dear OG and i couldn't be more thankful to my Lord God Almighty (and the girl who pulled out to give me a place! yes you!) for letting me meet such wonderful people. Hopefully the friendships forged will last for a long time to come.

Everyone say hello to Kate my new sidekick. YATAA!!!!!! My other sidekick has left me here in Singapore for the cows in Melbourne. Cut me so deep man.

"What about taking this empty cup and filling it up with a little bit more of innocence..."

What i would give to be innocent and naive again. In a world where relationships around me change like the fickle breeze and love holds no more weight than the words of my sunday school kids, who always promise to be good but always never are, I need to find a reason to believe.

Never can comprehend the complex world of human relationships, whether true or false, sincere or forced and which will last till the day we say goodbye to this world and embrace the next.

Nothing in this world is set in stone. The only thing that is for certain is change. So grab on tight to the friends you love now everyone! And don't let a day go by not feeling thankful that you have them. For you really never do know when they'll be gone.

On a lighter note, it's gonna be a busy week to come man. Places to be and things to do. But still i say, life couldn't get better! Can't wait to meet Weijie for F1 on sunday!!

YEA MAN! Weijie rocks!! I'm sure you'll win K.O. Night on sat ya, never fear Rachel's here! Yes...... I know I'm not going to support you but hey, it's the thought that counts right? :D

Everybody rock on yoz! And all say " Go raikkonen go!" on sunday okay. Yea man.

And So I'm Back From Outer Space

2008-04-28T17:14:00.007+08:00

I drew this on my Starbucks barista book when my managers were all ignoring me. Its the alien that brought me back to earth in his laser shooting spacecraft when i went to Jupiter. In hopes, of course, that i might get some Jupiter juice in my hair, fall for a shooting star and someone would miss me and write a song about it. Apparently though, of late, i could disappear from earth and no one would notice. The alien and i sighed as we saw the dying earth below us and dreamed up ideas to stop the massive amount of plastics bags being used everyday.

We were wondering over some alien frappuccinos why i often willingly find trouble for myself. I deserve a prize for going from a coach potato to the busiest person on earth in the fastest time. CJ dance, ballroom dance, dance videos, work, giving free tuition. Sadly it seems i also have a knack of picking trouble that reaps neither reward nor return as well.

Then again i shall not complain. Starbucks couldn't be more fun, lots of time spent with the J3 dancers, finally have a ballroom partner. All in all life couldn't get better. Except perhaps an acceptance letter from NUS and USP. But yes, i won't sigh and say I'm busy no more. I'll say with a smile instead from now on that i have a fulfilling life. Which i really do.

Someone asked me the other day what my dream was. Now that I've thought about it, i really don't know. Apparently i stopped dreaming somewhere along the lonely way. Of course theres always those silly ambitions like being a fighter jet pilot, a baker, a zoologist. Even a professional dancer. But those aren't dreams huh.

So what's your dream? What does a dream consist of anyway. Something unattainable? Something elusive? How much do we dare to and how much can we? I guess only time itself will shed light on our not very distant futures.

Meanwhile, we should all live for our todays and live them well. At the same time use less plastic bags and walk more drive less. You can shed some calories at the same time. Good offer right?

"Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like no one is watching.
Live today like it's your last."

I do have one wish i want to achieve before i go to University. And that is leave this place and travel to somewhere far away on my own. Breathe in some foreign air and eat some foreign food. Then i can come back here and start anew. Start anew, search for my dream and live my todays like there is no tmr. Am i asking for too much? Haha perhaps.

Three cheers for Kimi Raikkonen for the Spanish GP win. Nothing puts more meaning into the word 'owning ass'. Well thats two words but whatever. I would go on for a few more paragraphs on the theatrics of the incredibly dramatic race run yesterday but it seems no one other than me seems to find such things interesting. As such i will spare you from F1 ranting.

Anyone would like my alien drawing in exchange for passes to the S'pore GP? You cant find the same drawing anywhere you know. Two good offers in one post, can't get any better.

I miss the Sims a lot. As i do miss Hilary, Germ and Faith.

Stay happy everyone. Till we meet again...

SMACK THAT

2008-03-12T20:19:00.003+08:00

Dance battle suju style. Not very tight but entertaining.

Rocking it. Smack that!

Life Couldn't Get Better, HEY!

2008-03-11T15:20:00.004+08:00

Despite the promises ive made to update my mind doesn't seem to be keeping up with my fingers. Can't seem to strand words together and pen down my slackers life, try as i might. Beyond all the seemingly daunting dance schedules, i am really just about doing absolutely nothing. Perhaps that explains the dwindling brain ram.

Candyboy.

Anyway. Results are finally out and i thank the Lord God Almighty that we came out of this academia nonsense alive. I realise that i should have gone around looking for every single one of my teachers to thank them there and then. But i kinda forgot. Grateful o'le me. Too caught up in the celebrations and also depressions.

All thats left to do fill in those applications forms and sit picking at the postbox waiting for some marvel to occur. Look for the real THICK envelopes in May kiddos. Thrash it if its not.

As for NUS'es USP programme, for their brightest 180 shinning shimmering students, I really want to get in it. The only things that are in my way are those interviews and that quaint little essay, of which the topic is no specific topic at all, that i must write. No offence, i do love writing, JUST not without a topic.

The question that remains to be answered is what DO i write on. Our dying earth? Art? War? Or the very poetic futue president Mr Obama. You really should check him out if you haven't he sure is interesting. "YES, WE CAN".

You've gotta give it to his style.

So im currently taking suggestions or inspirations for DE essay from anybody and everybody from anywhere. Free your hearts and give your hand to your dear friend here.

OTHERWISE, you could also contribute some job lobangs to the poor bankrupt girl.

One and all, ~ did you ever know that you're my heeeerrrro........ ~